Puffed up

When I woke up this morning, my right eye was nearly swollen shut. Again. I'm not sure what happens, but it's the second time.

The first time, it looked as though I was attacked by wolverine. If he were really tiny. Right eye puffed up with little scratches sketched across my eyelid and eyebrow.
This time, there weren't any scratches. There was slight brownish discoloration on the tip of my eyelid -- where one would trace eyeliner-- and the whole eye was left soft and inflated, bulging like a jelly donut hole. make it bavarian filled.

The swelling slowly subsides throughout the day and now, by 5:30 pm, I only look slightly mutated. It mostly looks scary and terrible when this happens and my eyeball feels like a pulsating, slippery bowling ball.

During my period off today, I wanted to nap in the "rest room" at school. The key was nowhere to be found, and as I was shuffling around with my one fat, retarded eye, I was eager to settle somewhere. anywhere really. I returned to my classroom, turned out the lights and hopped on top of a bookshelf in the back. I plopped flat on my back, legs dangling off the end of the shelf. Then, curled myself into a tight ball, nose nuzzled in the sleeve of my sweater. Laying there, I couldn't help but imagine what it would look like to a student if one were to walk in on me-- their one-eyed teacher, folded cozy like a roll of socks on top of a bookshelf in the back of the class. Sure, I thought, this is where most in my position would have found themselves.

I'm noticing more and more, with each day, just how much I feel like a cat. Whether it be curled on top of a bookshelf for a nap, perched & paw-tucked on Sam's chest or swatting at bugs, I frequently find myself in certain places or positions that lead to this same thought: me as a cat. I've always had an affinity for them. They're special and can have such incredible character. Not everyone gets 'em, and that okay. But the ones that get them, really understand them, know what I mean. There is a part of me that knows what it's like to be one too, I feel. And if I wasn't already one, then I hope to be one day. Or perhaps I already am.

Some puffed up kitty.