Need a light to yours

window seat busrides

spider spottin'

he soon after turned around and found me lurking, and immediately left...

the lake nearby where i bike and jog

more lake


girls and umbrellas

love with a rose

That Lady

That lady sat next to me at lunch today. One of the other teachers-- although I'm not sure what she teaches. She's one of those that maybe feels like she has to talk to me, in order to make me feel comfortable or welcome or part of the loop. Or maybe she genuinely enjoys trying to communicate with me in English... but it always turns into the same conversation.

"Hello," she says quietly, bowing her head slightly as she sits down next to me.

I give a sweet "Hiii," bow head, avoid too much eye contact because I know where it can lead if I allow it.

Next will come some comment on the weather.

"Cold outside," she pieces together.

"Oh, yeah, I know!," curling shoulders in, and appearing to be grateful to have my jacket.

"I catch cold," she continues.

*cough, cough* two measly put-puts of a cough limp out of her mouth.

"Oh, really?," seemingly concerned. Which, it's not like I'm not concerned about her, but... c'mon. those coughs were somewhat pathetic. And I've learnt the dramatics of Koreans-- clear your throat and they think you've caught pneumonia; sneeze and you've got the flu; one sniff of the nose and that's it: quick! rush her to the doctor! For anything, "you must go to doctor." They'll feed you antibiotics or tylenol or sugar pills or whathaveyou. Supply you with 6 baggies all filled with 5 different pills. All different colors, different sizes and shapes. This seems very important to them-- to go to the doctor and receive medication. So, knowing this, I continue:

"Aw, I'm sorry you're sick. Do you have medicine?"

She regretfully shakes her head.

"Maybe the school nurse will have some," I suggest, trying to be helpful.

"Yes," she confirms.

It's coming. I know what's next. Do it. Comment on the food. Tell me what it is, in every language you know!

"You know this?" she says, holding up a slimy piece of red-sauce-drenched tofu between her metal chopsticks.

I take note of how skillfully she keeps that slippery sucker between her sticks, keeping it from plopping back into the pool of sauce below.

"Yeah. It's tofu," I say, confidently.

"How you say, English?"

"Tofu."

"Ta-foo?"

"Tofu."

"Spelling?"

"T-O-F-U."

"Tofu!" she exclaims.

"Yeah, tofu."

And now, she gets to the real meat of it all-- what she's been dying to tell me:

"You know in Korean... Du-bu," she says proudly.

"Dubu," I repeat.

"Aaahhhh, yes," she says and mutters queitly "Dubu"

"And this," she adds, pinching a grain of rice between her chopsticks and hovering it over my tray.

"Bap," I say. and add on the English word "rice".

"Wow! Yes. And you know, Korean, this... we say Muul-go-geeee," stabbing a piece of fish and holding it up like a discovered treasure.

I nod and repeat, "Mul-go-gee."

"English, how you say?," she asks.

"Fish"

"Aaaahhhh, yes. Fish-uh," she says, looking back to her chopstick-stabbed treasure and repeating "Fish-uh, fish-uh."



I'm free of the Korean-English translation game for a while, as we shift focus back to eating. I'm surrounded by the sounds of slucking slurps of soup, the scraping of metal chopsticks across metal trays, the guttural UUuuuughs and UUgh-ng, Uugh-ngs and ham-ni-das and keep my eyes to the kimchi. Now, I love how kind Koreans can be, and it's nice the effort they seem to put forth at times, and it's sweet the couple of words they may know in English and will faithfully recite them to you when they see you ("hello" or "cold") just as I'll say the little Korean that I know, but it's times like these that just start to irk me-- when somebody wants to tell me how to say everything in sight in Korean.
Some of it can be useful. Maybe if I wrote it down. But, I didn't ask and I will never remember all of this. They'll be shootin' one after the other, pointing to pencils and lettuce and doors and toilet paper. Or ladies like this will take lunch as an opportunity to have Heather recite the menu in Korean, when, some days, I'm screaming in my head "I don't care, lady! Why are you telling me all this drivel!"



Eyeing a new crowd of teachers making their way to plop down across from me, I finish up the mul-go-gee and the bap and the dubu and the kimchi and scoop what's left into my soup bowl. I recognize the teacher right in front of me as one that speaks a handful of English. I grab hold of my tray and start to stand up from my seat, bowing down and giving the polite "Meon-jah-gamnida" farewell to those around, when the new arrival lady makes eye contact. She motions towards me to stop and spurts out, "How?" Confused, I bend back down to meet their eye level and say "I'm sorry?" She quickly nips a piece of tofu and holds it up to my face.

"English, how you say?"
Raising the jiggling piece of tofu a little higher, she adds
"Spelling?"

Underground II

one pull of this rope, i will
waken you
watch as your insides
rise
like yeast in an oven
or flowers to the sun. come
above ground. with your vessel
full, head back, suck you wet,
steady sweet
ready liquid to moisten my lips
and soften my belly

this source
unearthed.

After finding the dragon's stream

we said they were like bones
the bones of the earth
pushing up from its soily nest growing
8 heads, 17 arms, 206 twigly fingers
and with its belly below, sucking
gritty water, they all stretch
out and reach up
the direction we grow
the place we instinctively look to
for a reason.

Elemental

with purses in hand

.

outdoor class #3

.

down below or synapse inside

.

searching for dragon spring

.

sam's fire show: swirling dragon's head

.

while he's in the kitchen

Breakfast Bird

I'd just woken up and was making breakfast when I saw this bird. Her name is Pat. Thought it should be documented.

Here's a picture, too.

Gung Hay Fat Choi: Year of the OX

So, apparently, this is my year. It's the year of the Ox, I'm an ox... it only makes sense that this should be pretty special.

According to the Chinese zodiac, those born under the influence of the Ox are said to be:

stable, persevering, dependable, tolerant folks with a strong character... Honest, open-minded, and meticulous when it comes to their responsibilities. "Ox" folk rarely lead you down the garden path or change their minds once they've made a decision...Beneath the placid, easy-going and unpretentious exterior of the "Earth Ox" lies a heart of gold, a modest amount of ambition, and a willingness to bear heavy burdens that might overwhelm others, not to mention a strong sense of loyalty and compassion towards family and friends... Truthful and sincere...With all this going for them, it's not surprising that they might also have a few niggly, not-so-nice characteristics as well like being a titch stubborn, a teensy-weensy bit too methodical, a little feisty with a fierce sense of competition.

That sound about right? I don't know. Some of these sites report different things, but it's basically pretty similar. Although, I did come across one that said "don't expect these lumbering souls to have a sparkling sense of humor or be at all style conscious...it's not part of their precious package!" *GASP* No sparking sense of humor?? Not at all style conscious?? Well, I only hope that it's true that you can't wrap everyone up in thier own little package and leave no room for some individuality!

Plus, the fact that I'm a Wood Ox does play a factor, as well as being a Leo Wood Ox, and then being a Leo/Virgo-cusp Wood Ox at that. Yeah, it can get pretty involved. I mean, I'm not limiting or strictly holding myself to this little cut-out of a personality that's been drawn for me, but it is interesting to consider and reflect on. I understand the power of an individual, and that not one of us can be completely defined in this sense, but I do find it insightful to consider your make-up and look at some inherent characteristics or tendencies you may have, and use it as a resource just to grow from or reflect on.

So, according to some resources, this year, the Year of the Ox, will find us Oxen having an "overall improvement in his/her situation during his/her birth year... there may be some set-backs or delays, but if the Ox remains calm and persists, all will be well..." -- which seems like pretty appropriate words of wisdom for any year really.

There will always be set-backs. There will always be some delay. There will always be that something that you just did not plan for, but in reality, we can't expect to actually plan any of it.

I've never gone through life with much of a plan. I don't like this idea of planning out all the aspects of your life. Things have been pretty vague and general, and it's gotten me by. Usually I've been more aware of where I don't want to be than where I do want to be. But, even that's worked out. It's all gotten me to where I am now, which is precisely where I'm supposed to be at a time that I'm supposed to be here. So, although I've been pretty content with not having it figured out and letting it just happen naturally, I've had this nagging feeling lately. This thought that I should have it planned out. This thought that, perhaps even if not planned out, maybe I should have more of a concrete idea of the direction I'm going to focus my energy. I don't struggle so much with setting goals, as much as focusing on a particular goal at the time to invest myself into.

I just skyped with Erin about an hour ago. It was pretty funny since I was kicking back, indulging in 32 oz. of Hite (Korean beer; 2- 500 ml. I had to google it to figure out the ounces, since the US is the only country to use the US standard/imperial unit system!), and Erin was just waking up at 6:30 am, her time, getting ready to go substitute at Ascention High (I think). I must have been babbling on about some of my quasi-drunken and existential thoughts, for I remember going on quite a bit about this idea of "plans" and "what am I doing, erin?" and she told me... uhm, she said something... something like "know your limitations" or maybe it was "understand your limits" or maybe something about me and my limits and understanding that I don't have to have it all figured out. I remember she said something about her dad, at 50-something, not knowing what he's doing even next month. I'm not sure, but it felt important at the time. But she looked so beautiful, all ready to go to teach-- with her tights and boots and shiny eyeshadow and little star-stud earrings. But, what she said... it's something that I already know, that I don't have to have it all figured out... and that I never will. None of us really ever have it all figured out. And I'm okay with that.

And, wouldn't it just be so boring if we did?

So, ramalamadingdong, this year should be a good one. Yes, I'll say it'll be a good one. The Year of the Ox, for the Ox.

The Hite is gone.

The clock is ticking.

The bed is warm.

[The picture above is a stone carving of "The Ox" from the Buddhist Temple I went to yesterday.]