Underground II

one pull of this rope, i will
waken you
watch as your insides
rise
like yeast in an oven
or flowers to the sun. come
above ground. with your vessel
full, head back, suck you wet,
steady sweet
ready liquid to moisten my lips
and soften my belly

this source
unearthed.

After finding the dragon's stream

we said they were like bones
the bones of the earth
pushing up from its soily nest growing
8 heads, 17 arms, 206 twigly fingers
and with its belly below, sucking
gritty water, they all stretch
out and reach up
the direction we grow
the place we instinctively look to
for a reason.

Elemental

with purses in hand

.

outdoor class #3

.

down below or synapse inside

.

searching for dragon spring

.

sam's fire show: swirling dragon's head

.

while he's in the kitchen

Breakfast Bird

I'd just woken up and was making breakfast when I saw this bird. Her name is Pat. Thought it should be documented.

Here's a picture, too.

Gung Hay Fat Choi: Year of the OX

So, apparently, this is my year. It's the year of the Ox, I'm an ox... it only makes sense that this should be pretty special.

According to the Chinese zodiac, those born under the influence of the Ox are said to be:

stable, persevering, dependable, tolerant folks with a strong character... Honest, open-minded, and meticulous when it comes to their responsibilities. "Ox" folk rarely lead you down the garden path or change their minds once they've made a decision...Beneath the placid, easy-going and unpretentious exterior of the "Earth Ox" lies a heart of gold, a modest amount of ambition, and a willingness to bear heavy burdens that might overwhelm others, not to mention a strong sense of loyalty and compassion towards family and friends... Truthful and sincere...With all this going for them, it's not surprising that they might also have a few niggly, not-so-nice characteristics as well like being a titch stubborn, a teensy-weensy bit too methodical, a little feisty with a fierce sense of competition.

That sound about right? I don't know. Some of these sites report different things, but it's basically pretty similar. Although, I did come across one that said "don't expect these lumbering souls to have a sparkling sense of humor or be at all style conscious...it's not part of their precious package!" *GASP* No sparking sense of humor?? Not at all style conscious?? Well, I only hope that it's true that you can't wrap everyone up in thier own little package and leave no room for some individuality!

Plus, the fact that I'm a Wood Ox does play a factor, as well as being a Leo Wood Ox, and then being a Leo/Virgo-cusp Wood Ox at that. Yeah, it can get pretty involved. I mean, I'm not limiting or strictly holding myself to this little cut-out of a personality that's been drawn for me, but it is interesting to consider and reflect on. I understand the power of an individual, and that not one of us can be completely defined in this sense, but I do find it insightful to consider your make-up and look at some inherent characteristics or tendencies you may have, and use it as a resource just to grow from or reflect on.

So, according to some resources, this year, the Year of the Ox, will find us Oxen having an "overall improvement in his/her situation during his/her birth year... there may be some set-backs or delays, but if the Ox remains calm and persists, all will be well..." -- which seems like pretty appropriate words of wisdom for any year really.

There will always be set-backs. There will always be some delay. There will always be that something that you just did not plan for, but in reality, we can't expect to actually plan any of it.

I've never gone through life with much of a plan. I don't like this idea of planning out all the aspects of your life. Things have been pretty vague and general, and it's gotten me by. Usually I've been more aware of where I don't want to be than where I do want to be. But, even that's worked out. It's all gotten me to where I am now, which is precisely where I'm supposed to be at a time that I'm supposed to be here. So, although I've been pretty content with not having it figured out and letting it just happen naturally, I've had this nagging feeling lately. This thought that I should have it planned out. This thought that, perhaps even if not planned out, maybe I should have more of a concrete idea of the direction I'm going to focus my energy. I don't struggle so much with setting goals, as much as focusing on a particular goal at the time to invest myself into.

I just skyped with Erin about an hour ago. It was pretty funny since I was kicking back, indulging in 32 oz. of Hite (Korean beer; 2- 500 ml. I had to google it to figure out the ounces, since the US is the only country to use the US standard/imperial unit system!), and Erin was just waking up at 6:30 am, her time, getting ready to go substitute at Ascention High (I think). I must have been babbling on about some of my quasi-drunken and existential thoughts, for I remember going on quite a bit about this idea of "plans" and "what am I doing, erin?" and she told me... uhm, she said something... something like "know your limitations" or maybe it was "understand your limits" or maybe something about me and my limits and understanding that I don't have to have it all figured out. I remember she said something about her dad, at 50-something, not knowing what he's doing even next month. I'm not sure, but it felt important at the time. But she looked so beautiful, all ready to go to teach-- with her tights and boots and shiny eyeshadow and little star-stud earrings. But, what she said... it's something that I already know, that I don't have to have it all figured out... and that I never will. None of us really ever have it all figured out. And I'm okay with that.

And, wouldn't it just be so boring if we did?

So, ramalamadingdong, this year should be a good one. Yes, I'll say it'll be a good one. The Year of the Ox, for the Ox.

The Hite is gone.

The clock is ticking.

The bed is warm.

[The picture above is a stone carving of "The Ox" from the Buddhist Temple I went to yesterday.]

Morning Visitor

First post in nearly 2 years. I'm on the ball, baby.

I've been in Ulsan, South Korea for a while and have been meaning to start blogging again. So, this is my attempt. To go into the first impressions and initial reactions now, 4 months after arriving, seems so delayed and sounds exhausting at the moment. Plus, those who are even reading this most-likely have heard all that stuff anyway.

Today was Chinese New Year, which is recognized and celebrated in Korea too. I was reminded of this when I woke up to someone knocking on my door. It was my landlord's wife. No surprise that it was her though, being that she's pretty much my only visitor. Disoriented and confused, as I usually am when I first wake up, I answered the door without any pants. She was wearing a pretty pink and brown Hanbok, her shiny black hair curled and pinned back, and holding out a big tray that was covered with a red, silk cloth. She uncovered the tray like a magician revealing his top hat with a bunny inside. She was excited and I was excited and it's funny the exchange that happens when each person involved can only communicate about 2 words in that situation that they'll understand. So, she had this lovely spread of yummy soup, seaweed, radish, kanpyo, shrimp, green onion egg thing, some citrus rice treats and oranges and an apple. I gasped and bowed and did the "kam-sa-ha-nida!" (thank you) and "wow" (wow) and "ma-she-so-yo" (delicious). She did the "okie, okie" (okay, okay) and "desayo" (eat/enjoy).
I sat on my floor and ate the whole thing while watching the Discovery channel's "Shanghai Bus Terminal". Then, I went right back to bed. Delight.



I'm still wearing what I woke up in. It's 10:43 p.m. That was about the most eventful part of my day. And a nice way to start the day too.
She's a sweet lady.

Around 4:23 a.m.

Lately, I've been having trouble sleeping at night. The other night, while trying to fall asleep, I caught myself snoring. It wasn't like Jolt!- I fell asleep and then let out a big snorty grunt that shook my body awake. It was- I was lying there, completely awake and fully aware with my eyes closed and I started to snore. This may not seem unusual to some, but for me, a girl who does not snore when she sleeps, it is.

I was experimenting with different pitches and levels of snoring too: first, with my mouth closed, creating a higher pitched wheezing through-the-nose-and-from-the-back-of-the-throat snore. Then, with my mouth open, making a long, lower pitched, deep, from-the-pit-of-the-stomach snore. After a while, my throat started to get really scratchy and dry. So, I stopped. It was then, while sipping from the glass of water by my bed, that I realised this wasn't the first time I've consciously done this. While lying there on my left side, facing the wall, I envisioned there was someone next to me, a man, and it was actually him that was snoring. I really enjoyed that thought, and it was soothing. I didn't mind him snoring one bit. Then, I envisioned it really was me snoring and there was someone on the other side hearing it. I liked that thought too (but not as much because my throat would get all dry keeping that up all night and it's just too much effort. When I sleep, I want to put the least amount of energy into it as possible.)

So, the snoring session was nice for a little while, imagining not going to sleep in a full-size bed alone (which, btw, I am so grateful to be using right now, rather than my previous dinky, twin-size, springy hell mattress). So yes, it was nice for a bit. Then I was thirsty. Then I was sad... which usually makes me tired. I suppose I fell asleep soon after because when I woke up the next morning, it was the last thing I remembered from the night before.