Around 4:23 a.m.

Lately, I've been having trouble sleeping at night. The other night, while trying to fall asleep, I caught myself snoring. It wasn't like Jolt!- I fell asleep and then let out a big snorty grunt that shook my body awake. It was- I was lying there, completely awake and fully aware with my eyes closed and I started to snore. This may not seem unusual to some, but for me, a girl who does not snore when she sleeps, it is.

I was experimenting with different pitches and levels of snoring too: first, with my mouth closed, creating a higher pitched wheezing through-the-nose-and-from-the-back-of-the-throat snore. Then, with my mouth open, making a long, lower pitched, deep, from-the-pit-of-the-stomach snore. After a while, my throat started to get really scratchy and dry. So, I stopped. It was then, while sipping from the glass of water by my bed, that I realised this wasn't the first time I've consciously done this. While lying there on my left side, facing the wall, I envisioned there was someone next to me, a man, and it was actually him that was snoring. I really enjoyed that thought, and it was soothing. I didn't mind him snoring one bit. Then, I envisioned it really was me snoring and there was someone on the other side hearing it. I liked that thought too (but not as much because my throat would get all dry keeping that up all night and it's just too much effort. When I sleep, I want to put the least amount of energy into it as possible.)

So, the snoring session was nice for a little while, imagining not going to sleep in a full-size bed alone (which, btw, I am so grateful to be using right now, rather than my previous dinky, twin-size, springy hell mattress). So yes, it was nice for a bit. Then I was thirsty. Then I was sad... which usually makes me tired. I suppose I fell asleep soon after because when I woke up the next morning, it was the last thing I remembered from the night before.